You know you read too much YW when...

[Peter Murray]

That counting thing sounds like something from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. I think it's Ford Prefect, when Eddie the shipboard computer is in its alternate personality, and is making sure they're all wrapped up nice and warm, and telling them not to play with any nasty bug-eyed monsters.

[Gryphon]

Talkingbeast, Gryphon is a character that I use a lot on role playing. People call me Gryphon after her, and my icon is a picture of her. That post of M's was from a Wizards Abroad role play community. Heh. Gryphon is a wizard cat who uses a manual. A bit of an accident, really. Gryphon is a 'fluffhead.'

[Agent M]

Yep, Gryphon is an insane kitty wizard.
And it was funny but not THAT funny...

[Kat]

Another few ways to annoy the Lone Power:
74. Ask It to sponser you for a sponserd silence for charity.
75. Say "Entrophy? Hah, that is like sooo last season.
76. That last one works better when you are rolling your eyes.
77. If you have a laptop manual, insist on writing emails while It is talking to you...
78. ...make sure you ask It if It dosn't mind first.
79. When it speaks to you say "Whatever" Clueless style
80. Ask It if It would like a make-oever.
81. When on ordel ask for It's phone number and tell It you will get back to It when you are not so busy or when you can fit it into your schedul
82. Advise It to take up kniting.
83. Get It to join you in singing campfire songs.

[Sam]

Oh come ON M! It was that funny!!

84. "Mr./Mrs. (depending on it's form) Lone Power person, why don't you play fair??"
85. "You are sooo nice!! I think you a truely loving and caring person inside!"
86. ... hug Its legs while saying this.
87. If you ever end up the the world of Kit and Nita's ordeal exclaim, "EWW!! This place is trashy! How can someone live here?! I'll help clean up!!"


OK I'm having an imagintation block at the moment....

[semiramis]

In response to number 86:

88. Or, even better, glomp It.
89. ...Or, better still, tackle-glomp It.
90. ...and plant a big, wet kiss on It's cheek.
91. ...and call it "Daddy!" or "Mommy!", whichever is apropriately inappropriate.
92. offer It Flaming Hot Cheetoes, and if It accepts them, start yelling "Rosy Fingers of Dawn! Rosy Fingers of Dawn!" (it's amazing how aggravating this is to most people, especially when it's a guy who actually gets the reference)

Birdhead, Peter Murray: I agree it's probably Douglas Adams... Infinite Improbability thiggumy, maybe? (42!)

[Birdhead]

Ummm.... I don't think it's Douglas Adams. I'm getting teenager vibes, here. Though I do remember the bit you're talking about, and also I have read the story you're thinking of talkingbeast, but I'm oretty sure it's not that either.

*SIGH* I'll find out.

eleventyone: someone mentioned singing protest songd. I'm thinkign in the same track. Im thinking Redemption Song!

But for the really brave/annoying: "Don't worry, be happy now!"

[Kat]

[Gryphon]

Oooh! I know a song similar that REALLY GOT ON MY NERVES!!! This annoying bratty kid that sat next to me kept on singing it over and over and over and over...

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody's never, everybody's never, everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes...

[philosopherkat]

112. Place your hands firmly but gently on Its shoulders, look It straight in the eyes, and say in a sensitive voice "It's not your fault! It's not your fault! It's not your fault!" over and over until It cries (Thank you, "Goodwill Hunting").

113. At the thrilling climax of your adventure,when It makes one of Its sinister monologues about the inevitability of death, how you have no hope of beating It at Its own game, and how you're going to be suspended in a pocket of nothingness for eternity after It causes you immense pain, laugh condescendingly and say "You poor sad thing. Was it your childhood?"

14. Look at It confidently and say proudly "Bunnies frolicking! Lollipops and Christmas specials!!! Kumbaya around a campfire! Kindergarteners at recess! A two-hour Teletubbies marathon! A BIG HUG!!!!" and watch as It melts into a puddle of hatred.

That's all I can think of right now. We're doing pretty good, let's keep the list going, then we can compile it and send it to the Powers that Be so they can add them to manuals as a handy reference!

~Dai Stiho

Philosopherkat

[talkingbeast]

17. When It wears the three-piece suit, make little yellow duckies appear on Its tie.

And here are some for the list of "You know you read too much YW when..."

-You tend to capitalize the word "it" for no reason.

-Your best friend is reading _Dark Mirror_, so you copy out bits of the Song of the Twelve and leave them in her locker (I did that).

-Your mom defends having magic/fantasy books in the school library because they seem to be a good influence on you (you're much more scrupulous about telling the truth and not wasting electricity now...).

[talkingbeast]

Oh, yeah, about the LP's blog. I was imagining something like Out of Ambit: list of Things I'm Working On Today (tempting new species, chatting with _insert_least_favorite_politician_here_, plotting revenge, etc.)... with little boxes and checkmarks, of course.

[Rysade]

Originally posted by Birdhead:
I need some help. Isn't there some... Dark thing... in some series, or maybe just a book, who you can, uhm, unravel, kind of, by counting random numbers? like, eighty-three and one-nineteenth? *mutters and thumps memory* I hate this. Please, oh wise and great forum members, help me! I'ms ure one of you knows!

ACtually, it was LOVE that did that. IT was from a Wrinkle In Time, and they tried to kill IT with Math tables or something. That didn't work, though. I should know, because I reread that part just to make sure I had the events right. Yeah, it wasn't the numbers, it was the love. Yeah, make love, not random numbers.

"112. Place your hands firmly but gently on Its shoulders, look It straight in the eyes, and say in a sensitive voice "It's not your fault! It's not your fault! It's not your fault!" over and over until It cries (Thank you, "Goodwill Hunting")."

I've done this before! Actually, I told him he was a good person and didn't need to do this... Well, I got hit in the face instead of getting him to cry. Won the fight though, without even hitting back. It was cool.

114. Say yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

115. say, "It ends tonight." Ask him why he doesn't say "It is inevitable."

116. Don't let It get to you. When it threatens your life, say "Yeah, well, Y'know, that's just, like, your opinion, man."

117. Act out the last scene in Return of the Jedi, complete with Lightsabers, The Emperor and Darth Vader. Play up the part where Vader saves Luke and repents. Then give It a thourough analysis of the scene and how it applys to the current situation.

118. Blow your brains out. (hey, it worked for Keanu!)

119. Sing: "Kinda like a cloud I was up way up in the sky and I was feeling some feelings you wouldnt beleive sometimes I don't beleive in myself and I decided I was never coming down just then a tiny little dot caught my eye it was just about too small to see but I watched it way too long, it was pulling me down." Ask It if this is It's theme song.

120. "The root of all evil is desire. So what do you want? HUH?"

Like, a million points if you can get ALL of the references here.

[Gryphon]

121. While chewing gum, raise an eyebrow and say, "looser." Be sure to make an 'L' with your fingers on your forehead.

122. Burst out in tears.

123. After doing 121, 122, bow down on one knee, take a plastic Halloween spider ring out of your pocket and say very solemly, "marry me." I can't imagine how the Lone Power would react to that!

124. "Wanna do some Yoga wit' me?" Start doing random poses.

125. Scream, run in circles, and hop. Then fall over backwards and start giggling hysterically.

[semiramis]

Oooh, you know what's great? The nothing song. It goes like this:

"Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing,
Nothing, nothing, all day long
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing,
How do you like my nothing song?

Second# verse! Same as the first!
A little bit louder, a little bit worse! *deep breath*:|"

#or 1+current verse number

Most people get irritated at this very quickly.