You know you read too much YW when...

[talkingbeast]

Oops, sorry, didn't realize the word I used required asterisking out.

More randomly numbered ideas:

4. Be excruciatingly polite.

5. Be rude. It seems to have the same effect.

12. Repeat everything it says. I'm surprised Peach never did this.

13. Chant, "Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy" when it walks in low gravity.

[Gryphon]

Uhh... what number are we really on??? TalkingBeast has 1-5, 7 (???) is for Birdhead, so Rysade should have 7-8. I don't care. I'll just be number 9. Even though *cough cough* Talkingbeast already claimed it.

9. "Your lipstick is off a bit!"

10. After everything the LP says, say "Yo mama!"

11. "What was that? Sorry, I fell asleep for a bit there." (Here's the part where you 'yaaaaawwwwwwnnn', stretch and ask 'what's for breakfast?')

12. When you have a runny nose, forget to bring tissues.

[talkingbeast]

30. Go to your Manual. Look up: "tribbles, conjuring of."
31. Ask nosy personal questions about Its gender.
32. Ask nosy personal questions about anything else that comes to mind.
33. Take It aside and ask confidentially, "About my Ordeal...did you LET me win?"
34. Chide, "Why can't you be more like your little sister, Michael?"
35. Dress like It for Halloween.
36. If It tries to grab you, go limp. Sing the first protest song that comes to mind.
37. Ask how come It doesn't have Its own blog.
38. Ask for Its autograph. Offer It a blank page in your Manual to write in. If you don't have a Manual, try a YW book.
39. Respond to everything It says by screaming "Nooooooo," Luke Skywalker-style.
40. Bring your cell phone on errantry. Accept calls from other people while It is talking to you.
41. Compare it to other bad guys.
42. Take a really, really long time on your Ordeal.
43. Tell It that It may be "Fairest," but It's not as cute as RoShaun.
44. Tell It you're going to the library. Offer to return some books for It.
45. Fish for compliments.
46. Make small talk.
47. Insist that It address you as "sir."
48. Ask it to buy something from your school fundraiser.
49. "Gee, I expected You to be taller."
50. Do a card trick for It. Demand audience participation.
51. Appeal to Its sense of decency.
52. Correct Its grammar.

[Rysade]

"33. Take It aside and ask confidentially, 'About my Ordeal...did you LET me win?'"

Oh, Oh! OMG! That'd be INSTANT DEATH!

tb, did you really make all these up? They're AWSOME!

[semiramis]

In response to number 37: Hey, that's a good website idea... (semiramis doesn't have the money to afford a good webspace)

in response to #30: what are tribbles?

53. "Hey, I wanna know something.... was the whole 'snake' episode a Freudian thing, or am I just imagining it?"
54. "Your shoe's untied."
55. "What was it with that whole Balor deal? Did you make it look like that on purpose, or was it just a miscalculation?"
56. "Evil machinery is SO last millenium."
57. "Why is the air around you all crackly and blue? That can't be good for your respiration, you know." *this should be after you've got It sufficiently annoyed for something else*
58. "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
59. "I've had this burning question, and it's been bothering me for the longest time, and you seemed like the most appropriate person to ask.... where did all the cookies go?"
60. "...it's still untied."

[Sam]

Wait.... it went from 12 to 30... did I miss something??

61. When it is talking to you on a plantet with less gravitational pull than earth bounce up and down in its face and say, "WOW!!! This is fun!!!"
62. Keep asking for chocolate
63. ...If it gives you some stuff it in your mouth quickly and ask for more.
64. "Why do you like black??" every 10 seconds...
65. "Let's play Mafia!! I kill you!! I kill you again!! And AGAIN!! Why aren't you dead yet??? YOU DON'T PLAY FAIR!!!!" *in a pouty voice*

Sorry, bored and hyper...

[semiramis]

#61--I can do that!

BOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCE

*my personal fave when doing that sort of thing is to reply "real-LY?" to every single thing they say in the most high-pitched, obnoxious voice possible. This works extremely well. I don't know how many injuries I've gotten for just the bouncing alone, let alone the whole package.*

[meteorite]

S-chan: How could you NOT know what tribbles are? What planet have you been living on for the last 20-odd years?

BTW, tribbles are small furry asexual creatures from the Classic Star Trek universe. They look like bean bags made out of fake fur, and if you overfeed them, they multiply catastrophically. They make a soft purring/cooing noise when content, except to Klingons, at whom they hiss. Klingons despise them. Also see Trouble With Tribbles; More Tribbles, More Troubles, and the time-travel episode from DS9 of which I can't remember the title.

Waaaay too much memory locked up in trivia. I have a lint-trap mind; it collects useless bits of fluff.

[Peter Murray]

Originally posted by meteorite:
Also see _Trouble With Tribbles; More Tribbles, More Troubles_, and the time-travel episode from DS9 of which I can't remember the title.

Waaaay too much memory locked up in trivia.

Here's some more trivia. The DS9 one was Trials and Tribble-ations. The writer of the first two was David Gerrold, who appears as an extra in DS9 - for instance, there's a shot of a side corridor with him stooping to pick up a tribble.
To keep this relevant: Diane Duane used to work as his assistant, and SYWTBAW credits him with several of the images used in the book.

[Birdhead]

Oooh, ooh, ooh! *bounces up and down* You know what really dives everyone crazy, but Him most of all?

99(just because). Follow everything he says with "Do you really think so?"

*laughs* it may not sound like much. But try it sometime. I dare you. But only with someone you really hate.

I need some help. Isn't there some... Dark thing... in some series, or maybe just a book, who you can, uhm, unravel, kind of, by counting random numbers? like, eighty-three and one-nineteenth? *mutters and thumps memory* I hate this. Please, oh wise and great forum members, help me! I'ms ure one of you knows!

[Gryphon]

Okay, here's a post by the wonderful AgentM. We were talking about how "Gryphon could annoy the Lone Power to death.' Note that Gryphon the character is a brainless hyperactive cat:

AgentM:
Seriously! I can totally picture it!: Gryphon: "Icy Pole, why are you so mean? It's not nice to mean. You shouldn't be mean all the time. Why did you create Death and Entropy? Why don't you become good again? Good is better than evil!!! Icy Pole!!! Why are you lying on the floor with your tongue stuck out like that? It's GROSS!! Are you dead? Icy Pole! Answer me!" etc.


66. Heh. Start calling the LP 'Icy Pole.'
67. Start bouncing up and down. Start bouncing up and down in circles.
68. Always wear an enourmous grin.
69. Wave your hand in front of your face, say "something smells bad," and glance accusingly at the Lone power.
70. Hold up a bouqet of flowers. Say how you "saw them by the road and thought they reminded me of you."
71. Ask the Lone Power to go on a date with you at the movie theatre. Watch a Barbie movie.
72. "Are you a dog lover? You look like the kind of person who would own a poodle."
73. Whenever the Lone Power says something that sounds like part of a song, burst out singing the rest of it. ((My brother does this. "We can't play on the grass because it's too wet." "It doesn't matter!" "One thing. I don't know why. It doesn't even matter how hard you try..."))
74.

[Agent M]

*laugh* I still don't see why you and Sam found that so hilarious....

[Gryphon]

Of course it was hilarious! When I first read that, I was laughing so hard... hahaha!

[Sam]

M! HOW do you NOT find is funny??? I laughed about as hard when I read that as I did when I saw my brother bald.... which was really really hard...

[talkingbeast]

Is Gryphon a cat wizard? I was thinking of some of those, too (though they would only work if It was in human form and the wizard was in cat form, which never seems to happen).

14. Bat at Its ankles.
15. Shed on Its cloak (best if you are a light-colored cat).
16. Jump on Its lap and start kneading with your paws (does the LoneP ever sit? hmm).

Birdhead-- I don't remember exactly that counting thing, but I do remember some story with an intelligent computer (When Harlie was One? The Moon is a Harsh Mistress?) in which the author says counting is an agressive thing to do to a computer, comparable to walking up to a person and saying "blood, blood, blood..."