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So I was playing with the Oath (scary thought, I know, but I was using the English-language North American version and as we all know English doesn't have an enactive recension) last night and came up with this (blue text indicate stressed syllable):
In Life's name, for Life's sake, Life's Art
In Life's service I'll use
I'll do my best to not
(except the smallest charm
To avoid a greater harm)
Of any creature, change aught.
This power and task I freely choose,
This path until the Core, Timeheart.
(I changed the second line to "In service of Life I'll use" and the last line to "til the Core of Life, Timeheart" to get more "Life" in there.)
I like this version because of the interesting rhyme pattern (outside-in) and because I thought of it at ten-thirty at night when I was in bed and therefore seems more alien, which is the idea. And I like the way the meter seems a bit off, since it was unplanned. But I played with it more to try to get more of the Oath in it, which unfortunately meant that I lost the rhyme structure, and the concept I was going for with the couplet for "I will not change any creature unless its growth and life, or that of the system of which it is part, are threatened or threaten another".To compensate I fixed the meter. A little.
Next version:
Until the Core of Life, Time's Heart
In name, for sake of Life, Life's Art,
This power and task I freely choose--
In service of Life alone to use--
To always do my best to not,
Unless there's need, to change Life aught.
Guard growth, ease pain and when it's right
With courage--and Art--for Life I'll fight.
The last change was switching the first two lines and moving them to the end to the end (opening with "This power and task I freely choose/in service of Life alone to use"), changing "Until the Core of Life, Time's Heart" to "Toward the Core of Life, Time's Heart", fixing the line "Unless there's need, change Life aught" (which my unaltered second draft has as "Without need...", by the way) to the more parseable "Unless there's need, in Life change aught", and adding on a good description of Timeheart as I understand it. So the last version (the "abandoned" draft) is:
This power and task I freely choose--
In service of Life alone to use--
To always do my best to not,
Unless there's need, in Life change aught.
Guard growth, ease pain and when it's right
With courage--and Art--for Life I'll fight
In name, for sake of Life, Life's Art
Toward the Core of Life, Time's Heart
Where all exists that ever was loved,
As once below, so ever above.
Fingers crossed I got the formatting right...
Edit: tanj! I didn't. Well, I kinda did; just forgot to actually right words between the COLOR tags a few times. Screwed up the whole line. Will avoid that in the future. Am glad for edit function.
In Life's name, for Life's sake, Life's Art
In Life's service I'll use
I'll do my best to not
(except the smallest charm
To avoid a greater harm)
Of any creature, change aught.
This power and task I freely choose,
This path until the Core, Timeheart.
(I changed the second line to "In service of Life I'll use" and the last line to "til the Core of Life, Timeheart" to get more "Life" in there.)
I like this version because of the interesting rhyme pattern (outside-in) and because I thought of it at ten-thirty at night when I was in bed and therefore seems more alien, which is the idea. And I like the way the meter seems a bit off, since it was unplanned. But I played with it more to try to get more of the Oath in it, which unfortunately meant that I lost the rhyme structure, and the concept I was going for with the couplet for "I will not change any creature unless its growth and life, or that of the system of which it is part, are threatened or threaten another".To compensate I fixed the meter. A little.
Next version:
Until the Core of Life, Time's Heart
In name, for sake of Life, Life's Art,
This power and task I freely choose--
In service of Life alone to use--
To always do my best to not,
Unless there's need, to change Life aught.
Guard growth, ease pain and when it's right
With courage--and Art--for Life I'll fight.
The last change was switching the first two lines and moving them to the end to the end (opening with "This power and task I freely choose/in service of Life alone to use"), changing "Until the Core of Life, Time's Heart" to "Toward the Core of Life, Time's Heart", fixing the line "Unless there's need, change Life aught" (which my unaltered second draft has as "Without need...", by the way) to the more parseable "Unless there's need, in Life change aught", and adding on a good description of Timeheart as I understand it. So the last version (the "abandoned" draft) is:
This power and task I freely choose--
In service of Life alone to use--
To always do my best to not,
Unless there's need, in Life change aught.
Guard growth, ease pain and when it's right
With courage--and Art--for Life I'll fight
In name, for sake of Life, Life's Art
Toward the Core of Life, Time's Heart
Where all exists that ever was loved,
As once below, so ever above.
Fingers crossed I got the formatting right...
Edit: tanj! I didn't. Well, I kinda did; just forgot to actually right words between the COLOR tags a few times. Screwed up the whole line. Will avoid that in the future. Am glad for edit function.
IIRC, hers was:
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