Place Your Poetry Here!

[the_peridexis]

all these poems are really good, even if some of them are a little bit(just a little!!) beginner-ish. and i liked those!

but i just wanted to mention something; beautiful poetry often comes after a wave of intense emotion. but for me, and many others, those waves are often ones of sadness. a very wise and very annoying person said to me once, "artists tend to create their works out of moments that have stood out in their lives. unfortunantly, the moments that stand out the most in life are ones of tortured grief and sadness, and their works reflect that."

so when your lovely works of poetry or whatever it is you make, (may it be music, paintings, works of writing, or anything else)start depressing you every time you give them a glance, tone it down. try writing or singing or whatever about something that made you happy--it may not turn out as well, but you will.

that doesn't mean give up writing about sadness, definently not,because i know that writing helps me and many others, but it means seeing the light in your life as well as the dark...even if the light seem invisible sometimes. think on it, cousins. dai stiho,

-peri

[Marelle]

wow,you guys are so much better than me...i'm just a beginer when it comes to poetry.but,lets see what you think of this...

I can't stand to remember
this fight which will dismember
my soul.
so i take my pain away
with a little sway
and i reach into my little place
where i hide my face
and reach for the blade
and hide in the shade
for when it comes to light,
i close my eyes and think of night
so i grab the blade
and caress it
and run it across my skin
this is my heaven
that i believe in
so when you think of pain, think of me
when you think of anti love
think of me
for i will never love
i will forever wander
alone with memories
to hide my face, and reveal my pain
as i scream without shame.

[The Defender]

Well this seems like a fun thread so why not I'll throw down a few just let me go get my notebook!!

Well I'm back and it took me forever to not find my notebook. I did find my idea journal for writing pieces though and it has some original versions, so I guess I'll give you a couple of those that I know I didn't change too much later on.


#1
The pain shoots through
Jolting heart
Searing temple to temple
The very brain engulfed in fire.

This was not the hoped escape
Not the drained feeling of calm completeness

Elated or Crushed are neither my emotion
But fear dominates
Ever fueled by nightmare
Which never seemed so vicious.

I am alone
The monster
While love the unattainable beauty
Slips through fingers
And crushed under foot.


#2
Seconds
Minutes
Hours
Days
Weeks
Months
Years
Wasted.
Squandered away in futile attempt
I see you
Here
And there
Again
and Again
and Again
You face changes with each encounter.
But your eyes always the same deep brown
If you would have died
Yesterday
I would have cried,
and wept,
torn my clothes,
and gnashed my teeth
But with resolve
Comes decision
So now my emotions are my own
And your thoughts bear no power in my mind
I cast your memory aside
And with it my faith and passion
This is the price for erecting you as a God
Making you and Him one and the same
But you fall as he rises up.
--

Well thats it.. comment if you feel like it

--Edit Note: umm some of my spacing on the second poem didn't get translated form this post box to the actual Forum.. oh well I dont' know how to make it work..

[Cress]

Right, I've got a couple to post. The first is really short and I'm not sure if I'm going to try and add to it or keep it this way.

Red
Dig in

Twist
Sharp,
hard,
freedom
It doesn't really hurt

except for the shame

Who Are You?

Who are you to take my name?
You slap your
trademark
On the word that will tell you who I am

You strut
You grin your smug smile
Stop telling me what to think
how to act
Who are you to control my mind?

Do you want me? Or do you just want another

Hilary Duff

clone?

Who are you to tell me what to be?
Take away your
magazines
Tear down your billboards
Smash in the TVs

Who needs them
when all they tell me is
how wrong I am

How right
Barbie
is

No thanks
I can do without
Your drugs
I can forget my pain
without your
alcohol
I can feel good without
your sex

You've already told me who you
want
me to be
So now it's my turn to speak
If you don't listen
I'll climb to the top of the world
and SCREAM
let everyone hear

WHO ARE YOU to tell me how to live my life?

WHO ARE YOU to drag religion
into politics?
I'm not going to tell you who I am
Or who I'll be

I'll show you
I'll rip your label off my
gender
off my
body,
off my
age.
I'll look at your magazines and ads and movies
and laugh
because I know

I don't look like those girls
and i'm beautiful

I don't dress like those girls
and I'm Sexy

I'll throw your empty words
back in your face

With my mere existance
But will you let me keep just one thing, as you take everything?

Let me keep
My
name

To post for the world

OLIVIA

was here

[the_peridexis]

no, i haven't seen the movie. i'm glad you've FINALLY figured out what's up with my forum name...jk! and for a poem-*scrounges around*

Memory

Pain might fill my lonely days
Greif might steal my soul
The wolves might howl some rending song
Leaving no one here to help...

A flicker, a spark a gleam of hope
Leaping from the bowels of darkness
A chorus of laughter, loved faces
Bright-burning with radiant smiles.

What saved me?
From eternal torture, endless pain?
A tiny hope...a memory.
Some cherished whisper locked away.

A flower in the forest of my soul
Waiting, hiding, there
A lovely bloom unfurling petals of light
Some delicate spring of hope...

And where there is one
There are many
Soon to thrive, growing steadily
Remember.

-peri

P.S. just remembered! i got a poem published at poetry.com too-it's in the book, i think. it's called Misery and really similar to the one i posted before;that poem kind of stems from Misery; they're both really similar.

[Shandurai]

*giggles at Slash's poems* you and my friend would make quite a pair, I think!

Peridexis, I've just finished Wizards at War, so in turn I've just figured out what your screenname means! Thanks for the review, You'd be the first to give me feedback on that one. I too used metaphors in hope of giving it my own meaning, but also to give meaning to everyone. I agree that it is important to leave people unaware. It gets them thinking. Have you, by chance seen the movie Donnie Darko? I highly reccomend it to you.

let's see what other peoms we can scrounge up from the dirty closet...

Truth and Lies

What is a Truth?
What is a Lie?
What do I know?
How can I tell?

Is it the cascading waterfall,
hidden beneath layers upon layers
of stone?
The ballet which our unspoken hearts mime?
The rose that said he loved me not?
The coiling chain of fear
binding us tighter to the darkness
with each ringing silence
after the beast strikes?

But then...
how can the truth be set,
if there is no place
for all to see it?

Do we not decide for ourselves
what is right?
and what is not?
and what to think?
and how we feel?

Is there a time
when that chain becomes
bound too tightly,
that we lose the will
to break free?

If so, I will carry the burden
of the truth,
the lie,
the rose,
with no remorse
except that
of the truth that lied



Dai, Shandurai

[Slash]

Lights went out!
By- Slash Plazma

You are sleeping

and you here peeping

you look out the window and see it creeping

BOOM

thunder
thunder

BOOM

da end *

[the_peridexis]

as a reply o shandurai: yes, i like using descriptive words. that poem has its own meaning to me, but using words like that lets ppl compare my poem with their own lives. and they also leave you thinking...what happend?

slash, you have a very, erm, interesting set of poems. and you seem to enjoy surprise endings very much.

shandurai, i like the way your poems use so many metaphors; the meaning for them can go very deep.

myth, i like how the poems you posted always reminded the reader to keep trying..through thick and thin.

and angelstar, your poems are really mysterious, even the one written while bored in class. when i'm bored in class, i end up writing about longing for freedom...

[Slash]

Chit Chat on the chat!

A pome by- Slash Plazma
This pome goes to- YR,PM and Olivia! my 3 BFFs

Olivia went...CHIT CHAT!
YR went ... KIT KAT
PM went ... FAT FAT

PM got mad

WAK WAK

YR got sad

WAA WAA

but we all like each other so that is that!

Olivia said hay hay!

Slash went ok .... ok!

PM looked as if he was going to say...

"HAY HAY WHY ARE WE ALL SAYING WORDS THAT RIME WIYH PAY?"

YR said lay it off ok thats what I say!

PM looked sad

But we like each other so don't get mad

Slash went BURP

Olivia went Flurp

PM went Flurp Burp

YR got sad he felt left out...

Slash said Dont pout!

We like each other there is no dout!

the end!

[Slash]

K.I.T.T.Y
A pome by- Slash Plazma


Cats are creeping
you are sleeping

the cat killed a mouse

cats are creeping
you are sleeping

the cat is in your house

cats are creeping
you hear paws patting

the cat is on your bad

snuggle
snuggle snuggle

the cat purs by your head!

A scary pome bye Slashpaw!

[Shandurai]

Thanks much Peridexis, you've made FallenAngel a very happy camper! *smiles* I think she just might want an account on here now that you've given her such good feedback. On your poem, I want to say that no critisism is necessary, but what I did notice was that the 'wells' is a very nice way to describe eyes. Also, it makes me wonder what happened when you used such words as 'left, withered, died' those are very descriptive... good job!


Mr. Hollywood

Hello Mr. Hollywood,
do you care to shine a light
on a fresh new talent
waiting to come alive?

I don't want much
just the chance to say
what's locked in my notebook
and maybe some words gone astray

so what do you think,
Mr. Hollywood
with all your lights and glory?
mightn't there just be a spot
vacant and waiting for me?


Wrong Way Lane

Made it all the way
to Wrong Way Lane
before I decided to turn around

asking for directions
was on my mind
but everyone was out of town

How was I supposed to know
which pathway led to where?
I'm trying to bactrack far enough
to find my way out of here

because Wrong Way Lane's
no place for me
don't have much right now to spare

but it seems that every path I take
leads me back to there

so soon as I run out of gas
I guess I'll just have to walk
down the pathways
down the roads
to where mistake-birds flock

is there any redemption
for what I've done
that's led me all the way here?

Is there something lacking innocence
in everything I hold dear?

Because as I sit beside the pond
feeding lapse-fish bait
I wonder what I'll have to do
to cure myself of this fate

because Wrong Way Lane's
no place for me,
on the way to Longing Town

guess I'll just have to wait and see
what fortune brings around.


Dai, Shandurai

[the_peridexis]

well, fallenangel, consider yourself a member!!! you are never too young to read and discuss. i'm sure you'd do awesome...and the poem was really good! so if you ever need anything, just holler.(or type...)

Misery

Misery's
cold, fetid hand
wraps winding tendrils of dark
round my broken heart.

Too tightly bound
for breath is lost
and Soul is rent to tatters.

Hope dies, falls from my eyes
a once-vibrant blooming flower
torn from that light of Life.

I lift my hand to my face
no tears, only endless anguish
a rush, a torrent of unbearable greif.

Where are those arms,
that once were here
encircling my shoulders with Love?

Where are those eyes,
those vital wells
of compassion, of laughter and comfort?

They've left, died, they've withered
leaving me here...
in this wasteland of myself.

*criticsim welcome. and welcome, fallenangel!*

-peri

[Shandurai]

wow, that's amazing! To everyone out there, these are by my friend. She's 12 years old, keep that in mind when you're reading these. WOW. Oh, she's telling me over my shoulder that she wants many reviews! So, here they are *smashes symbols*

Untitled #1

A thin white dress
swirls around a girl's body
she smiles faintly...
ribs sticking out
hips jutting out
cheek bones visible to all.

she walks around every day
in that same white dress
with the same pale face
and same skinny body

she pushes herself
through the day
wearing her many masks
that protect her from
the world...
that has nothing to offer
her anymore than guilt
and regret

she doesn't want to push
herself anymore
she is giving up on
everything
she could have been
or would have been

life is worthless to her anymore
she is giving up
on everything
that she held onto
throughout her life

and everything that was worth living for...



Please?

The cold, sour tears that night
the night he left
the night htat will linger in my head
till Dawn

you left
and it hurt
my heart and soul
you left and I died
In the arms of nothingness

i cried to the space...
the space between youandme

you put me in a spell
that would make me love you
with all of my body,
mind and soul.

well now that you're gone,
I'm free
But I do not want to be free
I want to be a prisoner of
your love
a prisoner of your heart

so please come back
and let me die in your caring arms
let me cry to your innocent face

please?



Nothing and Nobody

she lay in pain and greif
she forces down the
tears that have beeen wnating
to spill for years

she doesn't understand
why there is so
much pain in life
or maybe she does
but doesn't want to
be afraid of what might
happen

she pours her cold hear out to an empty room
for that is all that's
left for her to
confide in

why do some people
go through life perfect
without a tear?
and others with
the world's sadness
on their shoulders?
it's like one
person gets everybody's
sadness
and one person everybodys
happiness

she slowly gets up
nd walks through
the black and dusty
room to the world
so cruel and unkind

she walks through life
with the world's sadness
on her shoulders
not knowing what to
do with it

she dreams for nothing
hopes for nothing
and looks for nothing

every now and then,
she will go back to
that still cold, dark room
and pour her heart
out to nothing
and nobody
then walks back into
life with nothing
but sadness.

~Maybe what we had was nothing......
But maybe it was everything~

she'd like to be known as FallenAngel. Also, if you leave a comment or two, could you possibly tell her if she would be 'ellidgible' for an account? She wants to know if she'd do well here.

Thanks so much guys,

Dai, Shandurai

[Marelle]

wow! I love it. I don't think I write quite as well as u do.i have another poem to post,I wrote it while i was mad at my boyfrien,so might not be that good.Tell me what u think of it:
Angry silence

I glare at you in angry silence
while you try to repent
repent for the words we said
loving each other's blood that shed
I ignore your wanting forgiveness
roll my eyes at your carelessness
I don't love you,
not since you left me for her
I wont forget your mistake
can't you tell that I partake
in the raging battle between us?
our problems wont go away,
so I'm gonna make you pay
with this angry silence.

Originally posted by agfish92:
very very good.. i think it needs somethinng.. maby an internal rhime or a abab rhyme scheme


oh and 1 more thing.. i wrote this poem/song tell me how you like it


crying so loud,
crying so clear,
hearing you cry is the only thing i hear,

listing hard ,
i find the way,
the way through your heart,

the only way,
of living to me,
is seeing you smile ,
waching you love me,

but when push comes to shove,
you pull away,
pulling away from my heart and me,

thinking about what i did,
i see that it was wrong,

but now that its done ,
and now that its over,

we both see it though,
saying "i love you" ,
is all we needed to do,

but i did it again,
your pulling away,
the life slips from my palms,

i stair out and watch,
you wont stop,
running away again,

without you,
my life is over,
love is a waiste,

without you ,
my heart is broken,
till we met someday,



love is something you dont wanna talk to harshley... think of how they feal.. if you put them first and pull them from the bus comming at you then more than likely neather of you will get hurt.. hope that makes sence.. tell me how you like it

[Shandurai]

wow Angel_Star, you really write well... Life as a dream, that's a lovely concept, I like your reasoning about waking up. It's true, waking is so much better for the dream. We just need a talent agent to come and look around here, everything is so good! Good Job Angel_Star, you're amazing!

-Dai, Shandurai