Memoirs of a Newbie

[Sean L.]

[Sunshine]

When Sean asked me to write a memoir for yw, I started thinking about my memories from Ced. Not all of them are pleasent. But most are. And the experiences I've come away with are far from forgettable.

I made friends that have become as close to me as any in real life. We've formed crushes and relationships. We've raced to correct typos, shared ridiculus stories. We've made quote files to remember the most hilarious memories. Or the stupidest. We share things that are going on in our lives or have gone on in the past. We share our favorite books of the week. We talk of music. We connect.

We marry each other. About three thousand times each, then divorce each other. Another three thousand times.

It's our own little mini-world. Our way to escape life for just a little while, or hours at a time.

It's our yw family, a family of the heart.

[Dee]

[Snuffleupagus]

[Delylah Dove]

If someone is lucky at some point in their lives, they will wake up and realize
that they don't know who they are anymore.
They will look at themselves in the mirror and wonder "How in the worlds did I get to this point?"
They will want to cry. Scream. Break something. Anything.
But only if they're lucky.
Because when you lose who you thought you were, you go searching for who you want to be.
I am one of the lucky ones.
And it's funny how something as simple as a chat room can change your entire world.

In eight months, a collection of brilliant, amazing, talented people
Have introduced me to love and friendship, belonging and kindness.
Freedom and inhibition.
They have taught me heartbreak, and healing.
They showed me self-respect. Something I didn't think I deserved when I walked in there.

From this chat room I have had countless nights of frustration
I have found people I will never forget, and people I wish I hadn't gotten so involved with.
There has been relationship drama and religious debates, there have been cliques that seem worse than high school at times and arguments so pointless we might as well have been fighting over dust specks.
But with every fight, and every night of frustration there are ten more of giggles and bliss.
Some of us in YW chat come to escape our real lives. The mothers that never seem to get it, the fathers that are MIA so often, the real life friends that act fake, or the teachers/bosses that pile us with more work than we can manage without having a mental breakdown.
We can be as compassionate as we can be vicious.

To people that are new to YW Chat, we can seem fairly insane. Either that or disgustingly mean.
But if you take the time to study the workings, and respect the other members, we welcome you.
We can seem complex because in chat, it is not about computer stuff, or books, or the basic "how's the weather" conversations. It is about life. It is about us. Because it is part of our lives, and part of us.
It's about being a shoulder to lean on for the brokenhearted girl, or the overly confused guy.
and about being yourself, and having the courage to allow others be theirs.
We do not ask you to change, we just ask you to watch, listen, learn.
This is the place where a bunch dorks have landed
this is the place so many have created themselves
And found all that they could be.

[Dairine]

Okay, I can't help but attack and post this. Reading Andrew's and Lisa's and Dee's and Sean's just made me want to cry. I tried to hold back the tears but couldn't... So here are my memoirs:

Memoirs of a Monkey

When I first joined this site I was the worst newbie ever... Now, most of my posts are named as MonkeyMum, but they are mine... And yet, while I write this (even being attacked by Sean in MSNIM), I think to myself, 'What would I be like if I hadn't joined this site? Would I still be quiet? Would I be at the front of the class being a teachers pet? What would I personally be like.' I know that others have gone through the same amount or less or more issues (mental and physical) as others... *attacks fly that is flying around* EVIL BOOGER!!!!!! Anyways, back to what I was saying... I've gone through so many names, BBJ, Yoda, Monkey, Lee's accidental MonkeyMum, and now I am Dairine, *glares up at fly; mutters under breath* There are times when I just want to kill someone and there are times when I just want to tacklehugglelufflelicklove them. We are the biggest, greatest family that you will ever know. As I watch chat under this window I see Dee yelling at Sean for making all us girls sobby. I snicker look over at my MSNIM conversation with him and see his nutty '*grins*' after I tackle licked him. That is my threat, "Don't make me lick you!!!" It is just what I do. I lick people. As I look back down at chat, I see Dovey scream "POSTED!" and snicker. This is just my life. I came out of my shell like Andrew did. I moved several times when I was young so I couldn't seem to keep friends. It was hard, yes, but I made it through. In 5th grade, I was silent. 6th, made a few friends because of one girl. 8th, I joined this site and ERK!!! STUPID FLY!!!!
*mutter mutter* Erg... I think there are more than just the one fly... *keeps muttering* But now back to my Monkey Memoirs... and I slowly realized that sitting in a shell isn't a way of living... And as Dovey said, one day some of us just wake up and don't know who we are. That happened to me. And guess who I found out I was? I found out that deep inside, I am really *dramatic music* SUPER MONKEY!!! Saving one heart at a time. Right now, working on how to keep calm in a situations. *munches on food* I've met a great guy that... *coughiwouldliketospendtherestofmylifewithcoughcou gh* I've made a few emenies (meant to spell it that way!) I've made many more friends. I've learned that it is better to be yourself wherever you are. Not just at home. I've learned to try not to lose contact with some as much as possible. I've... *scurries to do something private* ... learned that making thins for friends is better than keeping them to yourself. I've learned spelling, punctuation and grammar. I've learned so much that this post would be its own page if I said it all. But the one thing that I find most important from this site is: Laugh at most things, comfort/help others and do what you can to help the starting transformation of this planet into a better world.

We are the people of YW! AND WE ARE PROUD!!!!! *goes to make a YW people song*

[nitafan13]

Well I'm still a newbie but I thought I have something to say on this subject. Everyone has been really nice to me and explaining everything even though I'm sure that some of the questions I ask make them want to tear their hair out sometimes. I'm sure that some of you might not have that great memories from the forums, but so far I do. So I just want to say thanks to everyone who's helped me and all other newbies. That's all I got to say.

[Dragon Writer]

Memoirs of an annoyance

Yes, an annoyance...though i try not to annoy people, i unvairably find myself bumping heads with people...gigo and sean are notorious examples, though i'm trying to stop with gigo at least...and sean IS an ok guy...qute me on that and you will most surely die...
But enough of my enemies, and onto my experiances in the wonderous world we like to call...cedric, the female chat. Throughout my time here, i have annoyed various people, my appologies on that account, Created the notorious dragon game, notorious for it's capability to annoy everyone in chant as i rant on about it, and started to join various other sites many of which i rant on about non stop without really meaning too...and overall have made myself an annoyance against my own will..
and yet, despite all this, i've had some good times. I count almost everyone in chat as a friend, though some more then others, and even those who AREN"T really friends, i trust to be there for me if i need it...Chat has been a big part of my life recently, and to a lesser extent, so has the rest of the forum...it's a place i can go when i need to get away from the troubles that surround me everywhere else, even at school where they have been known to stalk me...troubles named...mom... And that in and of itself is what makes chat such a wonderous place, at least for me...it's untounched by such troubles. Why we, the members, may have these troubles, chat itself remains untouched, a safe haven where people can go and talk, give advice to eachother, and have fun...Like i said, it's a wonderous place, and i hope it never dies and continues to help many as it has helped me....
Well, there you have it, the memoirs of an annoyance who wishes to be one no longer...wish me luck!

[Peter Murray]

Memoirs of a Moderator
When I first thought of chat, various current regulars came to mind. After a little more thought, I decided instead to wonder why regulars fade away.

For instance, Telaldalin, Vegan_Chick and Small Town all used to be regulars in chat, but I haven't seen any of them for quite a while now. I suppose that people's interests change, though, and they drift away from YW and from other forums.

Sometimes, of course, this is involuntary. Parents worry if their children spend too long online, or find out they're hiding the fact that they've been chatting to other people, and restrict their Internet use, or prevent them chatting in other ways. That makes it difficult to stay a regular! (The lack of trust in their children it shows may also cause problems, but it's hard to say unless those regulars return later.)

Also, as people grow older, and leave High School for college, they may have less time than they had earlier. I haven't seen Tuttle, for instance, in chat as often as she once was. This seems inevitable; a degree is important* and shouldn't be jeopardised by too much chat (or too much alcohol, or too much of anything).

* So I'm told. I don't have one of them myself.


For that matter, why do I stay?

Well, there's the DD chats, though many people only come into chat for those, so it doesn't explain why I'm in chat most days.

Would I still stay in chat if I didn't have moderator powers? I suppose so; I don't use them as much as the threat of them.

I suppose, despite the people who fade away from chat, it's the people who keep me around; there are always new people arriving, and occasionally old regulars popping up again. It's the people.

[the_peridexis]

On this subject, I'm with Monkey. I really did feel like crying when I read the last few posts. Maybe what I want to speak about what more what I felt when I came here, rather than certain memories. I miss being a ragular so, so much. I post as often as I can, but i miss chat. When I post on shoutbox just that, it's not the whinings of a teen, it's the genuine longing for that kind of acceptance. During the summer, I was in Jordan, and my sister's lap was almost alwyas around. I entered chat brashly, think, so I seemed shallow and narrow-minded. But after just a little bit, I think I noticed that this was a place where i felt safe. Where I didn't have to worry about facades or betrayal, where i could be myself. I learned respect, I learned self-restaint. Ever since I began to come to chat regularly, the first thing I wanted to save up for was a lap of my own. Not for Im, not for blogging, or myspace or email. But for Ced, which had somehow stuck itself firmly in my mind. And I still miss it! So much that I've wondered exactly what you've been; what is it about this place that makes me feel like a better person? It's the people, it's the enviornment. It's a lot like school, but better because the regulars tend to be people who I respect and listen to. You're my online family, or to the very least my friends. No, I can't say I like you all, but that's another thing; tolerance. I learned it well here, and I'll never for get it. It's a good feeling, knowing your words will be thought about, considered, maybe even cherished.

Right now, I really hate my computer. I sometimes just sit here, staring at the chat gateway, watching to see how many people are in chat, completely helpless to join in myself. It really, really sucks. Because I learned to love Cedric, as much as I loved any book, any freind. I think some people here i want to meet one day, and I want to thank them for making me into the person I am today. For correcting my crazy typos, for giving me the best is advice, for being there, strangers to me, and letting me lean on them. This ite has been a haven for me, an imperfect one, but a haven nevertheless. I came here to joke, to play, to discuss and debate and think. I joined nonchalantly, and I've left chat with the utmost reluctance. My words here aren't as wise as many, but they are truly heartfelt. Thank you, to all of you, because I miss you dearly. And I think I'm going to try my best to be a regular from now on.

-peri

[Rad]

Wow, this thread is so awesome! I was reading over it thinking about how I should post a memoir of my own, but also thinking that it wouldn't be half as good as the others. But I really don't care because this topic is so cool.

I haven't been a newbie in a LONG time, and back when I joined (late July 2003), I didn't get into chat for awhile. That was back when there was Sigmachat, and I hardly ever saw anyone in it. So I met people through posting and also through some RPGs on the side. This site is where I made most of my current friends. A lot of you talk about coming out of your shells. Well I'll have to say that I haven't come out of mine yet...I've met a lot of wonderful people online, but it hasn't insprired me to put myself out there and meet people IRL. It's so easy to talk to people online, but IRL I find it very difficult. It's getting a little better now, but in general I still don't talk to people much.

I've gone through many phases with YW, from being a crazy newbie (who even got banned for awhile once, way back in 2003) to being a regular, to giving occasional cameo appearances. I spend a LOT of time online, but most of it is on IM. When I make friends, I usually enjoy more of a one-on-one conversation. I still like to get into chat sometimes, but...I don't know what it is about it, maybe it's just that it feels too much like a crowd. When chat is very crowded it sometimes makes me feel shy, or I might get too lost and maybe even bored, so I'll just close it and go back to IM.

This site has been a big part of my life, even though I don't really come around so often. I actually check around quite a lot, though. Even though I'm still pretty much "in my shell", I have still come quite a ways from where I was when I joined. Back then I had very few friends, and the ones that I had were strictly online. My mom was always trying to keep a tight leash on me, and I just needed to escape and have some actual conversation. Since I couldn't go out, and I was very shy anyway, talking to people online was a very welcome thing. I've gone through phases with friends from this site, but in general I am still friends with everyone I've met. Some of them disappeared from the forums. Several of these I still talk to on IM or the phone, but they don't come around here anymore. Others I only see rarely on this site, but I don't get the chance to talk to them otherwise. And then there are those that I talk to a LOT and some of them still frequent this site. All of my very best friends I met in chat.

The chat has been very influential on my typing as well, because back when I joined I couldn't even touch type. But now I do that all the time, and I type a lot faster, too. This site has also been very helpful in giving me confidence in my writing ability. Here there are many people that enjoy my writing, and they give me a reason to write. (Which I really need reasons to write, because I get so damned lazy sometimes...hehe, anyone want to read my stories? ) But really, it's true. Some of my stories might not have come so far if it weren't for a lot of you guys letting me know how good it was. And also, in some cases, your opinions and suggestions have been VERY helpful in revisions and updates that I probably wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

In any case, I really do think of all of you guys as my family. Even those of you who I don't know well. I'm really really glad that I was able to find this site and join. I really don't know what my life would be like without YW. I'm sure it wouldn't be nearly as good as it is today. (And also, I don't know what I'd do without those of you who are in my RPG, too!)

Hmm...I had a lot to say when I was reading the other posts, but now it's all gone out of my head. And what I did write didn't come out exactly the way I expected it to either...oh well, that's some of my thoughts on the subject.

For reference, to those who might want to talk to me but never see me in chat, these are my IM and e-mail, etc.:
MSN: zaigasaige@hotmail.com
Yahoo/Skype: phantomjerky
AIM: hazellawton
ICQ: 217672409
E-mail/google talk: rachelmcdermott@gmail.com
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/phantomjerky

[Gryphon]

I'll apologize for the stunning lack of eloquence, but my week has been brain-frying. Have patience ; you'll earn an extra *huggle*.

I think Sean asked me to write a memoir a week ago or some time like that. Actually, correction, couldn't have been more than three days ago 'cuz that's when he posted the topic. I guess school makes the days longer... what fun.

Annnyywayyy, I joined YW as the most oblivious and ungodly annoying little brat you could imagine. Youth and immaturity, you've gotta love it. I only made a few posts here before moving on to a roleplay that a member linked called "Abroad." It wasn't the first YW RP, but it was the first one that I noticed, and, at the time, became the best. That's where I picked up the name Gryphon. I joined the RP as a black and white cat by that name, and people started to think of me as that cat. When members such as M (AgentM!) got me to post here again, I got my username changed.

But fffphhh, I could go on a monologue all day about my history at this site, but it'd be agonizingly boring (and I'm already tired of writing about it). I think the most significant part of my time here is how much I've changed as a person (damn straight!). In the time of two or three years, I've come to be almost the opposite of what I was when I joined. I was shy, introverted, and had no confidence in myself. I liked talking to people here because I didn't have to worry about people judging me, and, also, they were friends. I had friends in real life too, but I just didn't appreciate them. I didn't realize what great friends I had because I was too afraid to open up.

To summarize how I think of myself now... yeah, I'm confident. I take pride in just about everything, especially my friends, and even when I take risks and ask a guy out on a date. I love my music and art. Ehm.... I have no idea why I've changed. I think it's because I've forced myself to do the whole risk-taking thing in my social life and maybe also karate. But I think I'm suffering another attention span attack. So, new topic!

One of the most memorable moments was when God took sweet revenge on YR's spamming of the chat by spamming his forum. <3 Also, the member plays and stories, espescially the ones by the infamous Sharky.

Yay friendship I've met a lot of cool people here. Maybe one day when I get unbeleivably rich and own a car and also happen to have enough money for gas, I want to visit people. Let's throw a party

I can honestly say that I have never [willingly] married a member here, but I have adopted some siblings, which, if I can remember, are Gigo, Monko, and Azen.

Speaking of spilling sulfuric acid on lab partners, there was a great lab safety video that I've had to watch twice... wowwww A story to be repeated another day.

Wow, dee... I wish I could think of so many extraordinary things that happened to me. Your peice is beautiful

Snuffles:
This time last year, I was listening to The Who. Now, I have Three Days Grace on.

I know! Me too! I joined here as a coldplay/linkin park/ and classical person, and since then, I've gone through so many phases, (some bad, but I don't usually like to admit I listened to some awful music) and I'm still alive today! By the way, Three Days Grace is definitely one of my favorite bands. *Huggle* You're one of the neatest people I know.

Another thing I'd like to point out. Some people, as newbies, were such little "poops." Made me want to kick them. Some of them are now awesome people that're great to talk to. But there's still friction between the ones that remain contemptuous little poops. Either way, life goes on, and you just have to make the best of it.

Heyyy, welcome nitafan newbie (it's a cute newbie )

PM:
Would I still stay in chat if I didn't have moderator powers? I suppose so; I don't use them as much as the threat of them.

something something its bark is worse than its bite. An appropriately used old person saying. We still <3 you, our brittish mod!

Luffle you all! I'd read and write more, but I desperately need to eat food and do homework. Until next time!

[RhyanonSorenson]

You guys....*sniffles*

A lot of the times, communities fade and die. The friendships might remain, but the thing that held each of the members together goes away. I've seen it happen in the first web community I was in. We would log on, and stay up roleplaying until the wee hours of the morning. It's not as active as it once was, though I still occassionaly talk to the people. It was sort of my introduction to being a member of a community. I realized, though, that I wanted more. I searched, found some great ones, but they all pale in comparision to this one. No offense to them! But it's true. Those forums are all pretty much dead now.

Eventually, I joined a community I read about in the "about the author" section of one of my favorite series of books. Come on, don't let me down, guys. I know you know what that series was! ^_^

What I found there were people who were just as crazy and (in my opinion) funny, as I was. Of course, as a newbie, I felt sort of overwhelmed by the bonds that were so apparent in everyone else. (Hey, I just realized that.) I think that might have been why I didn't come back for a little while. Everyone seemed to be so "old" and I was just a little newbie.

But then I came back several months after having registered. And soon, I had become one of the group. You guys are funny, smart, and amazing friends. Sure we all have our ups and downs, but that's part of being friends. We're not going to agree on everything all of the time. I like how, when I'm gone for awhile, everyone says how much they missed me. It's something that anyone loves to hear. It makes me feel like I belong. It's not something I've felt often, because I'm such a loner. It's a little hard for me to get close to people. That's one of the things this place has taught me. Perhaps I'm not as close as I could be, but I'm a whole lot better than I was when I was younger!

I'm lucky to have found a group like this one, and I thank you all. ^_^

<STRIKE>Well, I have to get offline, and I'm nowhere near finished with this. I'll add more later!</STRIKE>

[A Traveller with Magic]

Wow...I've come home again.

It's near 11 at night and I've had an unbelievably busy week, there's not much that I can coherently say, but perhaps I can come back and put words to my emotions on the weekend...
Briefly: I still listen more than I talk, and read more than I write. But I listen differently, talk differently, read differently, write differently. I have to admit that even after one (very treasured) year here I am still rather shy in this community, especially in 'chat parties'. But now I'm quiet to observe, rather than to just think of something to say...Your collective randomness has brought out a livelier trait in me that I never knew I had. I truly feel that this place, and all of you that come here, are my anchor even if I cannot return to see you for months at a time.
Perhaps through the books, we have all truly become cousins.

[mythbusterfan]

"if the wind no longer calls to you, it is time to stop and see if you have remembered your name..."

this is what this place has done for me, to finally start piecing together who i really am,

i've watched people come and go here for a long time, longer than some might think, from the sidelines and sometimes from the center, and made friends with those who stay.

as they say, "people are like stained glass windows, they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness sets, true strength and beauty are revealed, only if there's a light from within." as far as i'm concerned you guys are lit with 1,000,000 watt floodlights.

there's a topic somewhere here, asking where we''ll be in 20 years. and i have an answer.

right here.

dai stiho,
MBF