Nita and Kit's Promise

[smile]

I was thinking about the part in this book where Nita and Kit decide to be friends basically forever -

"Let's shake on it. We'll be friends forever. And a team." (in paperback, Page 225).

I was thinking about what would happen with this, later. I think that Nita and Kit will always want to be friends, and a team. But it is like a spell, and in a way it is binding. I think that they want it to be, but there will probably be things that they have to get through. I'm asking what you think will happen with this later, and the possibility of a permanent partnership.


Adding to this is from when Nita was on the moon, waiting for Kit, and was looking in her manual about why they didn't hear each other think anymore -

"Wizards in the closest relationships, leading toward permanent partnership, usually find the nonverbal communication rare or difficult. [...] for human wizards, intimacy is meaningless without barriers to overcome -- and to lower"


I wanted to know what you thought aboout the promise (and thinking), in general. Do you think that it will cause any problems, or will it only help? Most of us think that Nita and Kit will stick together - but would they stay together if they hadn't? And basically any thoughts on it...

and is it because of the promise that they will remain together, or becuse they cared enough to make the promise?

(and sorry for the round-about way of asking)

[seabiscuit1009]

Friends Forever

Personally, I think it's really sweet that DD included the "We'll be friends forever" line in there; in real life, it is rare to find people who you think you can be friends with forever. Honestly, look at your friends, and seriously think about it; yes, you are all friends now...but what I've realized is that college/growing up changes a lot of things, and the friends I still talk to from high are the ones who I'll be asking to be in my wedding and things like that. Sorry, slight tangent there.

I think what I'm trying to say is, yeah, their friendship/relationship is going to become more difficult to maintain; that's naturally going to happen as they get older, and would probably happen whether they were wizards or not. But I think they will stay together, because they cared enough about each other to make that kind of promise. As they grow, their relationship has new barriers (like losing the ability to mindspeak with each other) and if they care about each other enough, they'll be able to break down those barriers and stay together. Now, whether they stay together as friends or more than friends...we'll leave that up to DD to decide.

[kk]

I really liked that part... I remember thinking, as I was reading it, that it would probably mean that they would be friends forever, if not something more. *cough*

Anyways, I always thought that it could mean something else, as well... If they promised to be friends forever, them being wizards, I think it kind of forces them to be friends forever. Not that I can see them not wanting to be friends; but if that were to happen, they'd be stuck with each other... Whether they like it or not...

[Wiccangixie]

I think that DD putting in the promise was cute and sweet on her part, but I also think it sorta trapped them into always helping each other when something happened to one of them. Their promise is also a sign of assurance that they'll always help each other.

Honestly I think we can all agree that Nita & Kit's friendship is going to change gradually, but I also think that DD wanted it to be that way. Nita & Kit as a whole have fallen up and down on a scale, seeing as how there were times where they would hear each other's thoughts; but there were also times where one could feel when the other was slipping away. Even though DD mentioned times where they were slipping away, I noticed something: Nita and Kit always somehow become so aware that they feel... forced to make the sitch better.

[EricG1793]

Based on evidence in the books, I think we can all agree that it seems like they'll remain together for a while.

However, based on real-life instincts and personal experience, wonderful things can't last forever. Someone might end up changing their personality and interests, one could move away, or both....

[alla]

I always think those words are rather precipitous. I can remember (and at about that age) having friendships that I would say were as close as the one between Nita and Kit. We were always together, could finish each others' sentences and then something happened... To this day I don't know what it was, but my two friends just stopped talking to me. To me saying 'lets be friends forever' is a dangerous thing, but that might just be me.

I certainly hope that Nita and Kit do not grow apart. They just seem so 'right'; that and I wouldn't wish the loss of a close friend on anyone.

[kk]

Oh! I just remembered! This book was HW, right? The page where she was listening to the Steve Perry song a few pages before? Before I forget:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykNOhA_j1cc

Ignore the video, this one just has the best audio quality. But yeah, that's the song. <3 I think it's amazing! I was so happy when I found it.

Anwyays, back to the original topic...

I do not think they could grow apart... they share too much. I mean, in a way, it's like they know too much about each other to stop being friends. They could go through awkwardness (which is obviously starting, see page 262 of W@W, and many other parts of that book as well), but they'll stay friends, at least. Or try to. Even if Nita gets a boyfriend, or if Kit gets a girlfriend, they'd try to be happy for each other. It'd just be a little stressful.

[dorotheia]

Interesting. Those words about being friends forever never struck me before. When I first saw this column I thought it was about the promise Nita and Kit made about sharing the burden with the life-giving spells. ("A year of my life per shot")
Anyway. I don't think their words were really limiting. Like Nita says (I forget which book, probably TWD), words which once were meant a certain way could have meanings that become changed. Like the Wizard's Oath; if a wizard comes to disbelieve in his/her own cause, then ... "wizardry doesn't live in the unwilling heart." I should think the same would be true of other wizardly oaths and promises, though for every one there must be some consequence. For example, Nita could have abandoned the Song of the Twelve if she chose. Just as promises could be repealed, I think the terms of them could change too, to become more and not just less.
So I don't think that Kit and Nita's promise is especially binding in itself. Since they care enough to commit and maintain their link to each other, they'll hold to it. It's not the words that do the work by themselves, people.

[seabiscuit1009]

I never thought about their promise in the terms Dorotheia mentioned. I suppose that yes, the words will be what they make of them, and if at some point they no longer are going to be "friends forever," then they will stop being it.

Another random thought I just had, what if the words were almost like a spell in their own right? Like, since they said it and meant it, it will happen. After all, "a spell always works." It's just whether or not it does what you want it to that makes the difference, and I think that Nita and Kit meant what they said in this case.

[wizardsrreal]

I would like to think that nothing could keep them from being friends forever. If the whole thing in Ireland and Nita's mom passing away and everything else they have been through hasn't pulled them apart by now then I don't know what could. I know that growing up and things could change their relationship some but I like to imagine them doing that stuff together (growing up, hopefully getting together sometime in the series--I'm thinking the end just because it would be what a lot of people have waited for the entire time--even though i want it to happen ASAP). I can't see them without the other one, not that they are not seperate people but just that they are always together--and not that they can't be without the other, but just that they are so interconnected in eachother's lives that it would be hard to just shut that part of you off.

Does anybody know if they were talking in the speech when that promise was made? Because then that would make it more binding, make it have to be true, you can't lie in the speech, you know.

[Gracie]

Honestly, when I read that part in the book, I was THIS close to crying. Even then (before I had read all the books after High Wizardry), I hoped that Nita and Kit would stay friends forever - if not something more. And personally, I agree that in real life, close friends tend to drift away due to college and other things - no matter how rare it is to find friends like that. But think about how much rarer it is to find a friend who, like you, is a wizard, has experienced the excitement and joy of being one, and has been with you in near-death situations, never leaving your side. I mean, how special is that?

[spyells]

I hope the two stay friends forever. I've just graduated High School and I already know that some friends I will lose touch with. It is sad but I also know that it is time to move on. But in Nita and Kit's case it is a little different. There aren't many friends of mine who would be willing to go half-way across the galaxy to save my life. And there aren't many friends who would be willing to do whatever it takes to stay by my side no matter how much I change. But even the best friendships can change with time. I don't necessarily feel that those words were binding unless they were in the speech.

But I think everyone knows that words do hold weight because the tongue can be a mighty weapon. I think that if the two stay friends the friendship will change. Whether it because something more or not (I hope it does ) remains to be seen. But the type of friendship they had when they became wizards has already changed. They were kids then. By being in such dangerous situations it has forced the two to grow up in ways that they weren't expecting. So as they change the pre-conditions of their friendship has to change over time as well. They aren't the same kids they were when they first met.

[Gwendi]

I don't think that just because they said that they'd be friends forever means that they will. However, Nita and Kit have always been able to rely on each other and they have a really good relationship. There's just one thing that confused me. It doesn't make sense for it to be harder to read each other's thoughts when they're closer, I think it would make more sense if they could sense what the other was thinking more the closer they get. That was kinda confusing so I'll just say this: I would be lucky if I ever found a friend as reliable and close as Nita and Kit are to each other.

[InkSlinger]

I liked their promise: not only did it reassure Nita, it made me more comfortable as a reader that even if they went through conflict, they would remain friends... and perhaps have the potential for something more. And even if their promise is binding, I think they are not particularly bonded. Friend could mean a lot of things, if they truly looked for a way out.

Gwendi: I think the growing barrier between thoughts is less a natural process than wizardry trying to smooth things over. When you're that close to someone, anything you don't already know or they haven't already told you is pretty sensitive material. Also, completely knowing each other's minds leaves little room for more healthy relationship growth. That's just always what I thought of it.