What Darryl gave up

[Tuttle]

So Darryl was living as an Autie for at least part of his life, and when he became a wizard, and we have discussed the connection between these two, but what about when he gave it up? What did Darryl give up beyond the ability to hide from the Lone One when he locked his Autism away.

There was the major advantage to him and his Autism which let him avoid seeing the Lone One in everyone, and seeing the evil in the world. But that couldn't have been all he gave up.

It feels to me, like he also gave up some of the ability to make his own worlds, which would also have some negative side effects. And of course not hiding away while meaning he can do more to fight entropy makes it easier for him to learn what he is.

What do you think about the negative parts of giving up his Autism? How else did it affect him to become normal beyond the fact he would function more normally? Because there would need to be side effects which would not be so preferable, though it was very much worth it for him to give it up and face the world and do what he could to help slow down entropy.

[spyells]

What kind of negative affects were you thinking of? I mean if you mean the ability to keep the Lone Power bound to one place. Then yeah he probably lost that. I have to admit that is a crucial blow. Just being able to bind one part of the Lone Power is a huge accomplishment. It is also easier for him to discover what he is. When he thought that he was the only one here then there was no way he would listen. We can obviously see how hard it was for Nita and Kit to talk sense into him. This just makes it more dangerous for him. But I guess that danger is apart of life. He had to let it go to help as much as he could for the fight against the Lone Power. Too bad he can't create worlds though.

I do know two people personally who have Autism. My twin brothers do. The way it is described in the book isn't how it is for them. In fact they act perfectly normal. But they can't stand loud noise amongst other things. But they've gotten sooo much better. Most people can't tell that there is something wrong. But they only have it moderate not severe like Darryl. And even then I don't believe that someone who has Autism in real life will act like that at all. But I've never been near someone with severe Autism. So I really can't say.

[Dragon Writer]

i guess i know a few people with minor autism...i'm not sure if darryl really gave anything up...maybe his more simple way of looking at the world, as if it's all him...now, he'll have to face everything, and it'll be much more of a challenge...but what he's gained might outway what he's lost.

[Caitlin]

This really breaches a question I, personally, am very interested in. There is much debate about what kind of effect a person's learning disability has on the person who has it. I once got into a very large disagreement with a friend over medication for ADHD (which we both have); I prefer medication, it helps me function. He believes that medication subdues his ADHD, but that it suppresses an important part of him. He felt that hes ADHD was an important pert of him, and that he didn't want to suppress it. He wanted to remain himself, with no interference.

Now, I don't share this viewpoint. To me, learning disabilities do not define who you are. They are there, yes, but you are a separate entity entirely. I do not introduce myself as having ADHD; in fact, I don't think any of my professors know (and I go to a very, very small college). The way you are is not defined by your LD, you are who you are, regardless. So, I don't think Darryl gave too much up at all.

Darryl is who he is; we see that when Kit and Nita finally find him. He has a personality, he's a bright kid. He's actually pretty cool. He's an amazing person, and his loss of autism allows him to share that with the world. It isn't that he's changing anything; he is interacting with the world on the same level, it's just a different world. Instead of interacting with the worlds inside his head, he's interacting with the one we share with him. I think of it like he's broadening his horizons. A lot.

Yes, he now has to deal with the drama and madness which is the world. However, he is now open to such a wide variety of experiences which he could have never dreamed of. He can be his awesome little self, ant other people can experience that as well! It's a win-win situation for all involved. And, you know, that whole little "Power Supply" thing. That might help a tad bit.

[spyells]

I agree with Young Reader. About what he's gained he's also lost. But I also like Caitlin's reasoning. I have two brothers with Autism. So I like the idea that a disability doesn't define who you are. He has his own personality and he's very bright. And I guess a little "Power Supply" would help just "a bit".

[Garrett Fitzgerald]

I prefer medication, it helps me function. He believes that medication subdues his ADHD, but that it suppresses an important part of him. He felt that hes ADHD was an important pert of him, and that he didn't want to suppress it.

I don't feel that the meds suppress anything about me: they just give me the focus I need not to get fired. :-)

I was a bit concerned about this, and I know someone who was on meds for bipolar disorder and ADHD who eventually gave them all up, because they were messing with him too much.

[Dragon Writer]

they DO surpress me though...sometimes. i mean, i suppose i can bring out my personality still, but it's harder...adhd is nothing like autism. the hyperactivity becomes an intergrated part of your personality...if someone who DIDN"T have adhd was considered hyper, you'd most likely describe them that way. why does it change just because it's been caused by a medical condition? it's still a major part of my personality...and while that same personality exists without the meds, it's at least partially emerged, and less likely to come out...Autism is something else, though. adhd is overrated as a disability (i have it, and while it hurts in some ways, it also helps it others...for example, i can multitask better then most males (one girl told me) probably because my mind is NATURALLY on a dozen things at once...) anything it takes away, it matches for what it gives back. it's simply a different way the mind works that's been considered a disability because it sometimes makes things harder...Autism can truly be crippling, and i would never define someone like that...it has it's advantages, still, most likely, but it's possible to be too crippled by it's DISADVANTAGES to put htem to use...which is why i think what darryl gave up is worth what he gained. (adhd is a fairly personal subject for me, as it is for a few people here...i'm off meds at the moment, but will probably end up back on them since i drive everyone crazy when i get board otherwise...but i still prefer being off them when i can be. even WITHOUT the personality things, it's better, for any medical condition that it's possible for, to be able to handle yourself without being reliant on medication...)

[Caitlin]

Originally posted by Garrett Fitzgerald:

I don't feel that the meds suppress anything about me: they just give me the focus I need not to get fired. :-)

Amen, brother. AMEN.

Getting back to Darryl, though, when he comes up, it's very obvious that he is ready to take on the world. It must be really lonely, locked up all alone in your head for a long time. I would be excited to get out of a situation like that.
I actually envy Darryl. We don't often have control over such big changes in our lives; he had complete control over it. Making the change was entirely his decision. I'm sure we all wish we could choose to be or not be something undesirable. Darryl, the lucky little kid, has the option to control his destiny. He gets to take charge in a major decision in his life. I don't think it's possible to be able to do that and not come away from the process with more than what you started with. It's like the sorting hat says, "It is our decisions that make us who we are".

[Dragon Writer]

now THAT i can agree with. (just don't go around dragging adhd into the conversation!) people always have things they wish they can get rid of...parts of themselves they don't like. for some of us, taking away those parts might just be the worst mistake of our lives, since they are an intragel part of our personality, and may be the cause of things we DO like...but sometimes people get a choice to take control of their own destiny, and whether they make the right choices, or the wrong ones, they come out knowing more then they did at the start of it all...

[Garrett Fitzgerald]

I should comment here that I usually describe my problem as ADD, not ADHD: ADHD predominantly inattentive seems to cover the territory pretty well, or possibly Adult attention-deficit disorder.

[Tuttle]

I figured out what it was I was thinking of. He feels like he lost some of his innocence. He's still a majorly innocent human, but he's not to the same degree as he used to be. It feels to me, that giving up something like Autism in general, would cause this, partially because of the fact humans often corrupt each other. So when he went out into the world a normal human, he still had most of the innocence involved with being a pillar (though more of that seems to me to be virtue and integrity and overall goodness than innocence), he lost the innocence of being an autistic.

On the topic of medicine and whether its right to alter your mind through medicine, I am pretty much on the middle. Yes, there are advantages of medication, but you can't forget about the disadvantages just because of these. It must be a question of if it's worth it. And to me, I'd agree with Caitlin's friend where I'd rather be myself fully than limit myself to loose something I wouldn't want.

Most of the discussion on this has been in terms of ADHD or ADD, in my case its not. I have had a complicated situation of being diagnosed and undiagnosed (yes, undiagnosed) repetedly with Asperger's. I'm assuming people here realize what this is, but in case someone is reading this who doesn't, its pretty much what is below (high-functioning) autism on the autistic spectrum and people who have issues with social situations, knowing how to respond, and such, but can live a normal life, to give a very short description.

I was put on medicine in my junior year of high school for asperger's/social anxiety. I didn't personally feel any different and people watching me only saw very slight if anything then. But I lost parts of myself on that. I became majorly apathetic (and I don't mean being "I don't care what to eat 'cause that I do and is part of me). For example, I'm current a math major. I grew up begging my parents to teach me math until they couldn't teach me any more themselves and instead a friend of my dad's tutored me in math, and I was constantly trying to learn more. When I was supposed to be being tutored an hour a week after dinner it wouldn't be unusual for us to just keep doing math way longer than that those thursday nights because I was that into it. Well in 11th grade after getting onto medication, I literally forgot to hand in math homework for a month. I remembered to do it, is the amusing part, but I forgot to turn it in until my teacher asked me and my parents what was up, and I was like, I've done it all... I just keep forgetting to turn it. It ended up working 'cause he's an awesome teacher, but in most cases that wouldnt have worked. They changed me to a different medicine and it wasn't so strong on the apathy, but it still didn't feel right being medicated. I am now off medication, and prefer it this way for me.

In my mind, its a question of what is it worth. And I feel the same type of thing was true with Darryl. However, there are so many positive things, that we forget that nothing is perfect and that in order to make progress you often need to give something up.

The "disability" is part of you, and it may be best to try to fix this, I don't think it always is through something as drastic as medication though it sometimes is. In Darryl's case it was amazing to be able to see reality as real and be able to help. But by seeing reality as real, there were losses if only his ability to be the same as he was even ignoring the autism.

Darryl is lucky to have been able to make that choice, especially because he was in such a drastic situation, but if he wasn't, would it have hurt him to do so?

Even if we aren't talking about that, this is interesting and relevant though so

[Dragon Writer]

every thing has a positive and negitive side....nothing is clear cut. i suppose, whether you have autism or adhd, as i do, it all comes down too this: what are you willing to give up, and what will it help you gain? for some people, there simply is no choice...but for those who have one, it often seems like their constantly being given a choice, and constantly have to decide whether what they give up is worth what they gain...darryl decided that, in his case, it was. as tuttle said, he lost a bit of his innocence, and he won't be able to look at the world quite the same any more...but at least he'll be able to take part in it. I guess it's a choice many make at some point, and we can only hope we end up with the right one, as, it seems, darryl did.

[spyells]

Darryl did give up his innocence. But it was needed if the world is to be a better place. It was important for him to recognize the world for what the world really was if he was to be of any help at all.

My little brothers have never been on medication. I must admit that there was a time when they were little and the Autism was so bad. My family couldn't go to church, shows, stores, or the mall just to name a few. They were too hyper and too disruptive. Also Autism makes a person afraid of certain things. My little brothers (one of them their Autism is worse than the other) is afraid of loud music. One of them especially will scream as if he is in tremendous pain. He has fear in his eyes. And even when we turn it down he is still freaking out. Sometimes on long trips my mom will rent a rental car. My brothers are fine in our regular car but every jolt or jump or move in the rental car freaks them out. One of my brothers will start screaming and crying for the car to stop. He will panic. I can just see it in his eyes when he is about to lose it. We went to church just recently. I took my brother out of the service at the end. Because when everyone started to pray down at the altar it was loud. I stayed most of the time but when he looked as if he couldn't stand it anymore I took him out.

We couldn't go to a lot of public places because my brothers would scream and shout and run all over the place. There was a time when we thought they had ADHD. As a matter of fact when they were diagnosed with Autism we had never heard of it before. My mom and grandma were basically like what?! What is that? We know now. And as a matter of fact Autism is becoming more common and scientist don't know why. One of my moms friends her daughter (she's like two years old) was just diagnosed. Her mom knew that something was wrong because at two years of age she can't talk. And here sister who is like fourteen months ( i can't remember when she was born) is talking more than she is and starting to form sentences.

Also my brothers couldn't speak until they were like three or four. It might have been five but I was smaller my self you see. They had to take speech classes. The funny thing is the two are absolutely brilliant. Most Autistic people are really smart. They excel in school and in many other things. They know things that I don't and I'm a junior in high school. But it is difficult for them to pay attention in school. It requires that their teachers have a lot of patience because when the Autism takes control no one can control them. Not even us. My mom is against the medicine. But it's good they don't take it because as time has gone on the two aren't quite so hyper. Loud music (as long as it isn't too loud and by that time you would be getting annoyed too) doesn't bother them so much. We haven't went on any trips lately so I'm not quite sure how they are doing in the car department. We can go to church, the store, and the mall. But when we took them too the circus they were freaked by all the loud noise, animals, and clowns. But besides the times when they are being extremely hyper they are just like normal kids. And their speech has improved greatly too.

[Dragon Writer]

the reason for the incrase might simply be that people have grown better at catching it...maybe just as many people had it before, but only half those who had it were actually diagnosed...to me, at the moment, it seems like all of a sudden EVERYONE has adhd, and EVERYONE where's glasses, and it's probably all for the same exact reason: people are actually starting to notice the existance of these things....autism and adhd are no longer things that no one has ever heard of...you can say you have it to some random person, and they'll actually know what you're talking about. which is good, because it means that people can get more help and understanding from it...but has a few disadvantages too, because just like kit, people are going to start steryotyping, and expecting people who have these things to act a certain way, or have a certain mind set....(if you remember, kits thoughts on waht someone with autism would have going on in their mind dropped him in a desert wast land)

[spyells]

Actually Autism has been around for a while. Centuries in fact. More children are now getting it which is the problem. The scientist use to attribute it to bad parenting or being a bad mother. That wasn't the case. But now they know that. But back in the day the number of children who had Autism weren't as high. Some scientist and people think it could be what's in the food now. There are hormones that are used to make fruit and vegetable grow as well as pesticides to keep bugs and other unwanted things off of the foods. The hormones as well as other things put in the food is part of the reason why girls are sexually maturing faster then they use to. Starting their menstrual cycle at the ages of eight, nine, and ten. It is also why many children, again the girls, look older and certain things like fat and breast development is more prominent at those young ages. Many American men are short. Back when this country first started we were known as one of the most tallest countries. Now it is believed that what's put into the food is affecting our weight, height, overall growth to make it simple and sexual development.

The problem is no one is really for sure. I know they put things in the food, but I'm not entirely convinced that all of what I just pointed out above is true. I mean it is becoming noticeable that development in females is definently happening earlier. So the food thing I do believe is one of the attributes of that problem, even though I also believe that they're is many more. As for the Autism it is all of a guessing game. But it was known in the past that some children had it. But now they're are more families dealing with the problem.

As for Darryl, the good thing about him giving it up is that in a way life can become easier. I know that my little brothers have a hard time in school. All I can say is thank goodness they've had good teachers who had patience with them. But it is so hard for my family.

We went on one of the Autism walks a few years ago. There were so many children and adults there that had Autism I was amazed. I'm pretty sure attendance was in the hundreds. This problem will only continue to get worse. I just wish there was a cure for it. Because one of my brothers struggles with his so much I worry about his future. That's all I have to say for the moment.